For the Horde!

forhtehorde

Some Elf-lady from World of Warcraft

“For the Horde!!!”. “Sir, there is no need to yell. You can just click either Horde or Alliance” Yes, that’s right. I have succumbed to the dark side of the world that is called World of Warcraft. Guess I am a WC’er now, or a Crafty, or a Warry. I don’t know, man. Don’t judge me, I’m new to all this. What do you call yourself then?

A while ago I was shown what kind of game it was: creatures with freakishly long eyebrows, small posture but weapons twice their sizes and pets ranging from fierce bad-ass firing wolves to an ass-grinding puppy pug. I chose the Horde and specifically a blood-elf posing as a hunter. It suits me more than a Goblin or a big Orc: I too like to walk around with not many clothes on showing my masculinity in its purest form, long ears and unable to grow any sufficient facial hair.

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The virtual world is huge beyond your imagination and possibilities endless. The other day I was dragged in to a cave to slay some monsters but in order to get there it took like half an hour. And that was with a ‘mount’. Seriously, who’s naming stuff there? I bought an ADHD blue flamingo and having to call it my ‘mount’ makes me feel like I am assaulting the poor animal in my spare time… But that is just one of many possible mounts you can own. For now, I’m sticking with/to my flamingo. Makes it easier to roam Azeroth and flamboyant.

Isn’t the real world we live in also a little bit like WoW? The construction workers at the corner of the street both laughing and yelling out loud showing their crack as Orcs, those hipsters with their sneakers and ample facial hair as elfs, the chubby kid in class who’s bullying your daughter because secretly he likes her as… Oh come on, we all know that that one is the Goblin. No, in the end we are all different shapes, color and idiosyncrasies having our own adventure however finding the right people to join forces and making a life adventure together.

Perhaps you should try it as well! Because, who can say no to an adventure slaying dragons with an adorable pug?

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Not mine, unfortunately

 

Head on

I couldn’t keep it in any longer. The pressure, the sensation, being nervous just thinking about the very first time. Do you have sufficient protection? The walk of shame the morning after… A first-time blog will always be exciting.

Engineer, sarcastic, optimistic-when-I’m-not-pessimistic, easy on the eyes… just a few words that describe me. I am Dennis. 27 physical years of age and according to some people considerably mentally younger. I live by myself in this town in the Netherlands, or Holland, if you don’t like the extra syllable. My messed up brain is the reason I am starting with this blogging: I have this disorder called dystonia and according to a shrink I have autism. Add some bad puns and the result is me.

Starting in 2009 my relationship went to its inevitable end and so did my first studies of Technical Physics. Around thesame time my head began to twitch to the left. (I swear I wasn’t on drugs, no matter what people say!). Quickly it locked in a position where my right ear was touching my right shoulder. I couldn’t move it any other way for 6 months causing a lot of shame feelings and at a certain point being nearly unable to swallow food and drinks. Believe it or not but botox shots were and are my salvation. That’s why I look so young, and stiff… Bad puns keep me going though. I am head-over-heels in love with them. It doesn’t matter how neckered I am, I will always make them.

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Who says it doesn’t?

Lots of fellow Dystonians suffer from the symptoms in such a way it makes life a real itch (you’ll come to see lot’s of kiddy-safe swear-words). This blog is to make people aware of our struggles but in specific my own idiot adventure despite my struggles. Which are basically that my head wants to turn left and I have to counteract that. Every second of the day. If you want to experience it: take your left hand and place it on your ear over your head pulling it to the left. Counteract this with your neck muscles as hard as you can. That’s the struggle I am having day in day out. Stress makes it even worse and knowing that I don’t do well in crowded areas ideally I would be safe at home. I don’t want a life being stuck at home so gradually I went outside and tried to make something for myself. At the end of the day I have lots of interests and could not satisfy it by staying at home. I won’t even go into detail about what I can satisfy at home…

Having a job is also a struggle but since I like it I have to find ways to make it as comfortable as possible. “What do you do then?” Fair question. Unfortunately I can’t explain it in 5 words and 1 sentence like any other job: fireman, police officer, AA-meetings-sponsor-assistant… So, I won’t even try. But I can tell you I’m an engineer! And you can trust me on that. Honestly… I like to make stuff, but my struggle with this part is: what to make? I´d love to hear some idiot ideas from you!

Signing off until next time;

The Idiot himself